Stop apologizing and “own it.”

Why do we often feel compelled to start our conversations with, "I'm sorry"?

By Michel Koopman

While apologies certainly have their place, leading with negativity can have unintended consequences on our credibility, confidence, and presence.

When we start a conversation with an apology, it can inadvertently imply that we're not in control or possibly, that we lack the ability to manage our responsibilities effectively. This detrimental habit can also have a negative impact on our self-confidence, especially in professional settings, subtly undermining our authority to those in the room (whether virtual or in-person).

Instead, consider starting with a positive, empowering acknowledgment. Think about it - which phrase demonstrates a stronger presence: "I'm sorry I'm late" or "Thank you for waiting"? The latter doesn't just acknowledge the other person's time - it shows appreciation, respect, and a sense of control over the situation.

Reframing our language in this way communicates not only our consideration for others but also our own self-respect. We're all human and mistakes happen, but it's essential to handle them with grace and positivity rather than unnecessary negativity.


Take a moment to observe your conversations - both personal and professional. See how many times you say "I'm sorry" when you could replace it with a more positive and empowering phrase. This simple switch could change your work and personal relationships, your self-perception in more ways than you can imagine.

For more insights, check out this TedTalk.

Communication is power. Let's use it wisely.

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